Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
When she gives birth, I'm so playing 'Eye of the Tiger'
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
then he compared my vagina to a dishwasher. A DISHWASHER?!
I'm not afraid to fist fight your child if I feel he is standing in between me and some tacos.
She took the fish and put it in the hot tub, then turned on the jets. She said she was training it for the Olympics.
Well, my breasts are swollen and I cried about the Iditarod. But I say PMS until proven pregnant.
For graduation he gave me roses, a giraffe necklace, and a butt plug. I think this might be my one shot at true love
There is someone out there for you right now. And we will find her. Or him. Her. Her, we'll start with tits.
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
im single, its not even nine am on Valentine's day and I've already gotten laid. suck it relationships
I successfully navigated a full, lengthy interaction with my dad in which he never asked me if I was freshly baked. 10 points.
U know this is gone far when im in the bathroom trying to take a pic of my asshole
Hey I'm at the gym and I need your personal trainer help. Also can you send me that picture of me eating a sausage. I want to post it on instgram.
Crazy homeless man drinking beer out of a vitamin water container on the bus just set me up on a date with the yuppie next to him
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