Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
Just walked in on the Yellow Ranger getting porked by a guy in a UD Blue Hen costume. Will somebody PLEASE think of the children.
Starting drinking whiskey at eight. Already had ten girls looking up my kilt to make sure I'm wearing it right.
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
I should start handing out wavers before I have sex with someone. 1. Do you have anything to do tomorrow? 2. Are you ok with sleeping 12 hours from exhaustion. 3. Are you ok with a limp?
I fingered myself to realization that I don't need birth control if there is never a guy.
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
Pulled a muscle in my back masturbating. But still listed as probable.
The cop told me I was the prettiest guy he'd arrested in a while. I'm still not sure if it was a come on or not.
TELL HER ABOUT THE GODDAMNED MOTHERFUCKING POTATOES
You need to stop showing people the things i drunk-text to you... i have a reputation to uphold here
You tried to run away last night. The neighbors brought you back.you were in their hot tub again. This needs to stop
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
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