I'm curled up in a ball on the floor of my office with the lights off. I hope no one notices. No more open bar. Woof.
I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
Just chased the kids into the backyard with kitchen knives. Best. Babysitters. Ever.
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
careful of the bathroom.... theres some drunken ninja turtles in there....
Dont even bother asking why she was dancing with him on top of a door, let alone how the door ended up being used as a table.
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
She just took a mirror selfie at the hospital while in labor.
Note to self: remember to figure out whether melted cheese is a liquid when not stoned
I made everyone scream the national anthem with me after playing true American last night. I'm pretty much their leader now.
I feel like my sexual preferences are just another sign that I am a 75 year old drag queen in a 29 year old woman's body.
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
I'm like a freaking volcano of life and sexual frustrations
Last night was great... In the "I got videotaped making out and getting a handjob on the couch in front of 100 people." kinda way.
Who fucking spams baby shark at a sports bar
Randomize
