Apparently I called 911 everytime Sean Kingston told me to
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
I just shaved my vag with a razor my dad left when he was here a few months ago. Too hungover to think about the Freudian connotations
I've blown him so many times I feel like I have a better relationship with his dick than I do with him.
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
do you actually have a paper bowl full of broken glass and ecstasy or was that just a dream?
The cops knocked on our door just to ask us if we were really having a no-pants party.
Climbing out Mr. Friday night's bathroom window. He thinks I'm puking. Be on state st. with the getaway car and if you could bring me a shirt and some advil that'd be dandy.
So proud. See you in five. I've got coffee.
She is sending me pics of her sex faces...which totally counts as sexting in my book
My gyno overestimated by 3 TIMES the amount of sex we have per week. First of all, he must think I'm a freak. Secondly, I think we should catch up.
After a few mimosas, my mom started sharing her plans to move out of the house and into a retirement village so she can be the youngest one there and find herself a "nice old sugar daddy." Needless to say, break has not started off well...
But yesterday I literally met half his family buzzed wearing a cheeta print bathing suit super short shorts and a tiny tank top.. I was like awesome
THIS IS A TERRIBLE REWARD FOR NOT GETTING PREGNANT.
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
All I want is to get shitfaced and fuck random strangers is that really to much to ask?
Randomize
