the party we crashed was not a party. the party we crashed was jens grandads funeral.
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
Dude I was fucking my girl on the couch and her dog came up and licked my balls. Does that mean we just had a threesome?
You were plastered and wouldn't stop telling this hot girl about your plan to graffiti a church in easter colored spray-paint saying that Jesus was a Zombie... she kept saying her father was a pastor...
like a sex slave...but with a better dental insurance plan
like when he blacked out and we found him in the garden eating your tomatoes off the vine
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
Just caused a nice traffic jam while trying to park at Costco. Too high to drive.
How was my weekend? I just blew my nose and a gram of coke fell out. My weekend was fantastic.
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
She shit all over my seat. She is not allowed in my car under any circumstances. Not even with drugs. You can't forgive a shit.
i came outside and he was eating her out on my lawn. i refuse to pick up the dog shit in my yard so i hope he chose the spot wisely
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
I don’t mind that he’s uncircumcised. It’s the fact that he talks about the Bible immediately after we have sex .
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