is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
It's so cute when the exchange student uses "blowjob" as a verb.
I wasn't so much your wingman at that point as I was the interpreter of you point at shit and mumbling to the cab driver.
Hey. Hope youre not too hungover. Also, did you put a Christmas tree in my guest bathroom and cover it with condoms?
cashier rang me up and said, "white people are funny." like i'm NOT the only white person to buy just lettuce & 40 glow sticks
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
I got punched in the face by a Cowboy last night. Then he bought me a beer cause o convinced security not to kick him out the bar. Start of a fairytale love story? I think so.
If you've never yelled, "fuck you ray Lewis" in front of your 87 year old grandfather you haven't lived
I spilled beer everywhere which led to an oil fire and me melting a spatula again. And then I was late to class so I explained what happened to the teacher.
Pretend you're in a taco. That always helps me sleep.
Sorry I punched you in the throat. You got in my way. You understand.
You're wearing pigtails and giving away our kitchen appliances. Clearly, you're drunk.
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
Sunday morning breakfast with the boyfriends family. I just puked in the stall at Cracker Barrell. Classy.
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