how many beers do i need before it is acceptable to sleep with sam
enough that when i make fun of you for it tomorrow you wont even remember it happening
Can I crash on your couch? I just came home to find my wife giving two guys blowjobs.
Two?
Two.
i got really high and listened to the spongebob squarepants theme song and, i swear to god, it was in german.
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
Bc when the owner of your local gay bar and a drag king ask you to take them to a rival gay bar 2hrs away at 4 in the morning YOU GO.
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
Just so you know, a 6'7" tall gay man, with a martini in one hand and a fairy wand in the other, is not a force to be reckoned with...don't ask.
No, they seem attractive after SIX beers, after three they're just the gender you're looking for.
I just realized that I have to choose between a future orthopedic surgeon and a dude currently in jail. My life is so fucked.
Help everyone's hot
Men are hot women are hot non-binary people are hot aliens are hot
She's passed out laying in the middle of the street. Cars are honking at her and going around her body. We need to stop playing BONECRUSHER.
You call it sex. I call it penis conditioning.
Okay. Did I say I did anything unusual? Because I usually do weird stuff. Did I clean mirrors? My mirrors are really clean, and I think I remember having windex..
I need to get laid. Right now that freshman frat pledge & my Econ professor are the leading candidates
That’s quite a spread
Randomize
