im at a bar with my dad last night and he got hit on more that I did
His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
I feel uncomfortable when she gargles my jizz.
he was so nervous about his first time.. it was like michael j. fox trying to put on a condom...
Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
Why is the garage door in the middle of the street?
He tried peeing out of the sunroof.
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
she tried to handfeed me fritos while yelling "PENIS TRAIN"
Dude i swear to christ if he sends me one more pic of a "magnificent dump" im changing my number
I went to look at my notes for my take home final and all I had written was 'you're on E. You won't remember a damn thing anyway.'
Which one of you drunk assholes put a parental lock on my cable box last night? More importantly, what's the pin? I'm missing the UK game.
The guy who was interviewing me asked if I had coke on my pants. You win this time Las Vegas
Fuck me first. Then we can craft and watch Terminator 2.
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.
Randomize
