I dint menn to makr ut w brtendr
Wat???
U lft me at bar, no cassh for cab, may have slept with bartender
I want to make a zoo with you.
I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
when she said she's going upstairs to put her "play clothes" on, I knew either she was a pervert or a kindergarten teacher. Either way, I wasn't going to leave. She's a pervert by the way.
I used to practice getting hit by cars.
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
True idk how my parents didn't know I was blackout. I ate like 4 pieces of cheesecake and showed my cousins my boobs
Also, the greatest of ironies: I got shampoo confiscated by security while Corey managed to get pot through. MERICA!
Man, that hitchhiker cursed me.
I sent my boyfriend to the bar so I could go out tonight and actually get laid..
There might be a dead possum in your bed, your roomate is extremely distressed!
I think my life is a one-way ticket to blackout city.
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
Totally unrelated, but by the way I DO have one ball bigger than the other.
I showed up drunk and covered in glitter, smelling like stale booze and dirty stripper and my younger brother gave thanks his life wasn’t a shitshow like mine
That’s how my thanksgiving went
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