I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
A stripper just got mad at me for saying goddammit. She's in no position to lecture me on morality
Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
How do you tell someone they are only invited if they put out?
Found out why I didn't have to go drug test. My boss grew pot to pay for grad school.
Tried to dry my shoes in the oven last night.
Hide in the closet. if you hear me yell patato salad come out swinging.
I just want him to come back from NOLA alive, without an arrest record or stripper glitter on his clothes...
Those seems like unreasonable expectations for a bachelor party honestly...
I forgot to ask you how long you're housesitting. By which I mean how many bones can I get in averaging 2.5 bones per day.
20.
Is it too early in the day to be getting dressed for the strip club?
You know that thing where you wouldn't typically eat ass but you're in love with him so you want to eat his ass, because it's HIS ass
I use my feet as sexual weapons
I think I hear the ice cream truck
I could be going crazy though
NO IT IS THE ICE CREAM TRUCK IT'S ALMOST AT YOUR STOP
I just shaved my legs via the sink as to not wake my parents up because I know I'll be having marathon sex tomorrow after my certification exam... so this is life after college.
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