I hate when people uglier than me have girlfriends
oh my god. my mom just found my pipe. she thought it was a dildo.
like i said, there should be a sitcom about your family.
I apparently took a 45 minute shower, and became best friends with his mom.
it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Seriously... There's something wrong here. I'm drinking vodka to mask the smell of chocolate on my breath before I get home and he finds out. I fucking hate couple dieting...
Can I color on your dick again?
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
guys I just made $20 cause these random south african guys thought I wasn't wearing any underwear
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I hooked up with a guy that had a beard last night felt like I was building a fucken log cabin
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.
Hurry I'm alone dressed like a prostitute eating French fries.
highlight of my day: hitchhiking a ride with random locals. tried to make conversation, asked what they do. driver says "you clearly don't recognize me." turns out i have had sex with him and forgot.
You are officially qualified to graduate from college.
It was probably the most embarrassing moment of my life. But I had cleavage, so I'm good!
Randomize