no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
Come on... In this relationship-economy, you gotta have "awesome blowjobs" on your resume.
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
Lets start the night off early. Those Coronas arent going to throw themselves up.
In retrospect pumpkin carving while drinking Patron was a bad idea.
Nothing will ever prepare you for the moment when you are sitting on your friends bathroom floor with no pants on eating string cheese & pita at 2am.
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
Alright fuck it. Alcoholic Jamie is back and here to stay.
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
I feel like you're the reason public nudity is illegal and generally frowned upon in society
I was so drunk last night dude. I woke up this morning to my oven being wide open and my pants on the kitchen floor.
He has fairy lights round his bed.. And played Jamie cullum when we had sex... Hes batting for the other team right?
just woke up with nickles taped to my body. theres like a dollar worth.
I will fuck anyone who brings me mcdonalds right now
Shelly has the weirdest luck. Dude offered her a job riding a bucking bronco and it was not porn or stripping but an actual g-d cow.
Randomize
