Potential corruption. He's 19.
Get them while they're young!
The KFC double down is way too much for a drunk. He was just staring at it in awe.
You do realize that you're sleeping with a man who is part of a gay harem, right?
no, that was the night I slathered your dick in the icing from my birthday cake
in my defense i said 'lock up your wives' before going out.
No. Mother. Fucking. Jello shots. Just no. I'm not falling into that trap again.
I don't know. Something about answering "what did you do on Sunday?" Seems odd when the reply is, painted, went to the grocery store, put a restraint device on my bed.
Youre not supposed to get arrested if your parents fly you home for christmas!
True but this has the bonus of them maybe not wanting to fly me home next year, im good with that didnt wanna go in the first place.
Use "feeling words"
Yay
There's mini weenies and empanadas everywhere...
A homeless man just offered me vodka. The power it took to deny it deserves an award.
"I played a game called "how drunk can you get in a minute" last night. How was your Thursday?"
Rough day
Good thing I've started drinking again
Umm my dog ate your vibrator. Sorry 😬
You know what sucks about being drunk at 4 pm? Not a god damn thing.
Randomize
