I'm drinking while my friends build sand castles, now I know how my dad used to feel
She said "You blew my mind last night." and I said "nah, I just blew my load." and her mom heard.
so my aunt is sitting on the couch, eating a brownie and watching the biggest loser saying how it's not that hard to eat healthy
man i love america
if you don't go to jail tommorow I'll buy you a 40. Motivation.
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life.
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
I convinced her that there were two p's in Chipotle - the 2nd one was silent.
Fell off the toilet trying to reach to put my tampon in the garbage. Pride hurts real bad.
I'm excited for him and his new girlfriend. I'm just going to miss his penis is what I'm saying.
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
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