i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
She is totally STD
Is it a bad omen that my phone auto corrects dtf to STD
there are chunks of pepperoni under the sheets. can you be here in 10? breakfast in bed?
I cant be sure, but i think ive been drunk in this church before.
Dude you took some guys glasses off his face and ran out of the bar
So I met my girlfriends dad last night. Or should I say I re-met that mall cop that had to tackle me.
HOW LONG TILL THESE DRUGS WEAR OFF. I WORK IN ONE HOUR, I REPEAT, I WORK IN ONE HOUR.
Dammit labor day drinking cancelled due to 3 inch long table saw cut to palm
I'm a gymnast. they should know better than to let me get dunk near anything i can flip on
That shot was terrible
You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
If you fall asleep, my vagina and I will never forgive you.
He's far too busy staring into my soul to touch my tits.
Does he know you were at a strip club taking shots of tequila right before you babysat his son?
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
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