He's a firefighter, who has his own band. I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I swear, its like my old fuck buddies have a 6th sense for when I'm going to be daydrunk. Then they start texting me. And then I start sexting them
He just got dropped off drinking a flask, sitting on the handlebars of a chinese delivery man's bike
Tonight's gonna be epic. Did he bring my noodles?
And I can say one thing, I look pretty good in high wasted pants. I don't know if that helps. But I do. God I'm high.
Dude. Why is there a hamster in my pocket? WHAT THE FUCK WAS IN THAT JOINT
Attempted to dodge my boyfriends cum last night and ended up falling off the bed and getting the worlds most painful charlie horse. fuck my life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I would come over if there was not the impending fear of me shitting out my brains.
I have invented a new game to play on campus. It's called "Mormons or Pledges?" It's fantastic.
Nothing says "I Love you" like my dick in a pizza box
She drunkenly dropped her ranch for her pizza. She tried to clean it up with her hands off the street then realized it didn't work and started licking her fingers.
I woke up to pizza pinned to my wall. So that's that.
Can you get the dildos out of the shower before the maids come?
Randomize