We can't all go after the girl with the low self-esteem
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
There're making snowcones with the leftover vodka from last night. This is not the time to be making up excuses!
Because he's your one night stand I shouldn't feel obligated to extend social media to him
I just threw up every bad decision and it hurts
Your heart is a swirling cauldron of blackness that does not pump blood but rather a sludgey mixture of evil and broken dreams.
She was eating leaves off of trees and saying it was salad, and even told a guy in passing that her favorite color was plaid.
This is the I'm sorry text for running around yelling don't shit on my rainbow, end up in the fetal position crying at 4 am in my car because someone shit on my rainbow
I know it's like I wanna bring somebody fun who I haven't drunkenly expressed my feelings for. Or hooked up with. It's a struggle.
What the fuck i just wanna eat my froot loops and sext in peace. Y'all motherfuckers gotta be loud as shit and break my concentration
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
so i just met a former male stripper who has a lion king tattoo. new BFF? i think yes
My dad is sitting where you rode me
Turns out naked twister is less fun than it sounds. I can never look Lee in the eye again. But Aimee's boobs are glorious.
Oh, do you remember telling everyone you were with that your vagina was angry last night?
Randomize
