he said he didn't have a condom.
and you said?
that that's fine cause i was ready to be a mom. yeah - he magically had a condom he forgot about after that.
Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
I consider it a successful poop when you only have to wipe once.
The dean held back my hair as I was puking after graduation. That means so much more than a diploma and a handshake.
You'd think me telling him that I'm a lesbian would make him realize that I don't want to hook up with him.
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
I am drunk please bring Taco Bell and sex
Never mind I found pizza just bring sex
No more morning sex. Just for once, my vagina would like to go to work bone-dry and bone-free.
My 7 yo sister is trying to talk my mom into buying her a strawberry margarita. Happy Cinco de Mayo.
I'm eating Swedish fish out of my boobs and watching SOA.. There is no way your Tuesday night will be better than mine.
Which one of you drunk assholes put a parental lock on my cable box last night? More importantly, what's the pin? I'm missing the UK game.
Long fucking story. But hey I got an orgasm and breakfast so I'm winning.
He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.
Don't forget to bring $1s for the strippers. Make it rain!!!!
Thanks, mom, will do
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