Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
It was a new level of awkwardness and terror. The high schoolers you fuck in the summer should never introduce themselves to your mom and godmother
She literally crushed my balls between her butt cheeks. It was both the greatest and worst thing ever. Dancers are awesome.
I'm eating my emotions. I am no longer interested in anybody other than my own hand and vagina.
I'm using toast as a chaser. If I wasn't already so fucked up this would be revolting.
I had to talk to the cops at my front door in a bathrobe, with the buttplug still in.
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
If a girl called me a promiscuous philandering Casanova, should I say thank you?
Most definitely.
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
Got drunk with him at an Irish pub ended up losing him for twenty minutes when I finally find him his piss drunk singing Irish folk music with a group of Irish guys and a midget
He meets the coolest people when he's drunk
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
I'm discussing Magic Mike with my mom and totally get why she thinks I'm gay.
I had no plans to sleep with him, but he had to stay because of the snow. I always say, don't look a gift storm in the mouth.
Randomize
