I just made out with a guy for $7.
you know that hot chick that stutters? talk about an awkward orgasm
come home now. i got a twizzler tangled in my hair again
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
Yeah but I get laid and I know. He drank toilet water last night and he doesn't know about that either. Still makes me happy though.
You want anything?
Gatorade and you naked.
You said my dick was impressive. You thank someone when they say that. My momma raised a gentleman.
My therapist thinks I shld paint u something to show u my appreciation 4 ur friendship. 1) she must think I'm rite on the brink of no friends 2) this is real
I smoked out of two pipes at the same time while my friends wielded the lighters last night. It felt like I graduated to the next level of stoner.
The other day, he sent me a snapchat of his dick in the forest. He captioned it "nature nudes."
There needs to be a greeting card for "I miss having sex and smoking weed with you."
I didn't see her "bad karma" tattoo until after I was balls deep
WEED BROWNIES! He put weed in my brownie mix! And he got it from YYYYOOOOUUUU!
Look at the bright side mom. After 20 years dad is still capable of surprising you!
Shut up Max.
jump out the window naked night went bad
My husband is waiting until son is napping and air humps as a seduction tactic. Pray for me.
Randomize
