I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
I'm so high I feel like I'm pedaling a bicycle but I'm laying on the couch. My body might be vibrating. I made soup.
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
I'm drunk off vodka and I haven't eaten today. I've never felt more like Kirsten Cohen in my life.
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This hurricane better not stop me from sitting on the stoop thurs & enjoying all the slutty costume walkofshamers
I smoked that joint really fast and now I'm so high I'm crawling around on all 4 giving my dogs piggie back rides pretending its the macy day parade for dogs and I'm their giant human float.
Confirm that you received these messages so that I know you feel the agony of my vagina. There is such a thing as "too many penises".
This is a whole new generation of premature ejaculators
On the way home there was a guy passed out IN the road on Colfax with his pants around his ankles, completely bare assed. If he was dressed as a speed bump, he succeeded.
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I remember you fighting a small man for the last of the pizza. Was there a midget in my house last night?
I think Jabba the Hut is dying in the stall next to me.
My new boobs got me 12 drinks at the concert. Whose the real winner here?
Wound up hungover. Visiting 4 y/o nephew suggested cookies and milk and playing Kirby with him with the sound down. This kid is going places.
handcuff keys just fell out of my bra....wtf happened last night?
I told you I couldn't sleep because of the speed and you rolled over and replied "shh. just pretend."
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