Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
i just made an omelette with the cheese and ham from a lunchables. and ketchup packets
julia child would be proud.
I have new birth control, three bottles of jack, and some coupons for micky d's. You wanna have that sleepover?
Package from mother. Contents: Cookies, my old pokemon cards, and condoms. Note: "These have a July 2010 expiration date so give them away or use them with a gal that would be a great daughter in law. Love Mom" Love you too momma
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
Just saw a cop give four blondes gas for their car on their way to Vegas. They seriously ran out of gas and called 911 about it. Its like a porno plot.
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
I'm sorry you were dumb enough to get played by a male cheerleader
You don't understand. If you watched a video of the shenanigans that occurred in my life over the past 48 hours you would gasp worse than the girl who witnessed me puking in my bag at the children's hospital
He always finds the good stuff. He's like a truffle pig for bud.
I'm supposed to be maturing, but no instead I'll be shitting my pants in Delaware for my 30th.
Hahahaha nah you won't shit your pants - but you will fully try mushrooms.
So that advice that humming stops you from puking? Yeah no, just puked through my nose.
Just threw up in the trash can at my desk. I guess "beating the hangover" eventually leads to this.
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
I didn’t eat all day. Got really drunk at a bruins game and puked in a random dunkies cup on the T
If that doesn’t scream I’m from New England, I don’t know what does
Randomize
