I am so high I am beginning to unironically like Vanessa Carlton.
we played lady & the tramp with a hash brown from McDonald's....im in love.
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
I thought of you while cleaning the forehead prints off my glass doors.
I'm trying to spell out I love you with a series of photos of my penis, but I just realized I can't do the Y of you
If you ever find a dick that big chop it off and bring it to me.
No He hasn't done that since the time he came in his own eye
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
I'll always be here to give you immoral support.
I have this rep as a wingman for a reason. I'm like a poon caddy. "You might want to use a 9 iron on this hole. "
I'm just like... Utterly amazed that we're still alive at this point. Who'da thunk it....
I just pawned the ring from my ex boyfriend to replace the ring I lost from my current boyfriend. #thanks
Her ex was at the party her housemates were having. He knocked on her door asking how she was while we were going at it. Turns out they were trying to work things out. Don't think I'll ever forget his face when we walked out of her room.
So the bar crawl I'm on is a "90s bar crawl" and I made the joke about a few overweight girls that "lack of concern for your weight is so 90s" it did not end well
just so you know. the medical term for period cramps is mettelschmerz.
glad to know something that causes such misery in my life has such a laughable name.
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