That's intense
i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
I looked at my own cervix.
that awkward moment when your booty call gets snowed in at your place.
Bjs on a first date are the gateway to getting to know someone for who they really are.
I have just figured that it takes exactly 2 and a half rums to clean the bathroom..
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
I fucked her wearing an American flag. Now here I am, awake, naked, and flag less. How do I report this to the police?
I just Miyagied my roommate through her first set of tit pics. Her fuck buddy owes me.
So apparently, after 11 beers, 2 pitchers of sangria and 3 rhum & cokes, the idea of popping a load of MD and jumping on the trampoline, in the woods, in my underwear was the best one ever.
My credit card got frozen due to suspicious activity. "Let's go over your recent transaction history... it looks like these are all at bars." BITCH, DON'T JUDGE MY MONDAY NIGHTS.
Rolled over in bed this morning and found Nutella and wet naps. Why can't it ever be a fire fighter, or Jude Law.
Went home last night with that hot British guy. Sounded like I was f-ing in a Harry Potter movie.
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
Can I come over?
Sorry I gave up dick for lent. Hit me up on Good Friday tho
Randomize
