he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
For Halloween this year I'm gonna go as Angelina from Jersey Shore. I'm gonna yell "umm HELLO?!," cockblock someone, then leave the party early
Just called my mom. She definitely saw all those fb statuses so thanks for that.
Haha did she know what fisting meant?
Yeah. Which is upsetting in itself
Hey man, sorry I chased you around the house with a small table.
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We were thinking he might be gay. Like how the fuck do you not even make out with a girl that made you a grilled cheese
Watching him and my sister argue over a rum and coke about who's going to chop the coffee table in half with a hatchet...
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
I just realized my new apartment is at the corner of Patrick Henry and Mary Jane.
Give me weed or give me death?
I asked him to make me two boxes of macaroni and cheese. That's like eight servings. How did I think that was an okay amount.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nope. Too much basics going on right now. I'm tying you both up and throwing you to the vibrating sexy toy sharks. You shall either sink or get off gloriously.
My sobriety has gotten out of control. I think I need an intervention.
I'm going to get high and eat ice cream until the pain goes away. You're welcome to join.
Beer. Pizza. Seething Rage. I will be full of two of these things tonight. You get to decide which two.
I wanted to say, you're welcome for your orgasms, thanks for not returning the favor, Needledick
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
Randomize