Have fun fixing the bed from last night Bob Villa.
At least you didn't call me Brittany this time
you got in your car and made the sounds of a NASCAR, then called me on your phone and I was your pit crew. then you apparently you won the race, and THAT'S when you tried to backflip off the top of your car.
make sure i look cute passed out on the couch.
Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
I am in the hospital with a broken wrist because a guy told me that if I punched him it "wouldn't hurt." it hurt. me. Thank you 11 jello shots.
you're a mystery wrapped in an enigma. wrapped inside a burrito.
You thought last year was bad... a guy dressed as a clown showed up with cocaine
So neither of us had a dollar bill and we couldnt find a straw so we spent all nite doing coke through penne pasta
We got to the second bar and all he kept saying was "I'm on an alcohol safari!" Best 21st birthday ever.
Proudest moment of my life. Just watched a guy walk into the side of a car because I winked at him. Love these yoga pants and my hair. Fuck yes. His mouth was hanging open.
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
There is nothing worse then the feeling after you've held in farts all night..
What's his name?
WHAT IF I SAT OUTSIDE AND STARTED SCREAMING THE LYRICS TO O CANADA WOULD THAT FIX IT
PLEASE DON'T
i tried giving myself a bikini wax.1. i hate you 2. i think i'm dying
I would have wore underwear last night if I knew I had to change a tire this morning
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