College reaches a new low. We just carved a shot glass out of a potatoe.
The girl I brought home was really impressed with the pile of blow you were doing while watching "Intervention."
that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
He ate me out. It was like watching him trying to win a pie eating contest
I think I just sold my virginity for plane tickets
Woke up to sesame street reruns and a $62 pizza bill. Never again. I mean it this time.
Totally just asked Dad if I needed to show the real estate guy my tits so he would let us buy the house. I've really got to work on that filtering thing.
I feel like a need a fire hose to wash off what I did last night
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
Almost just stuck my dick in my bong for no reason
someone cut his neck open pretty bad with a broken beer bottle. We were so close to his house that we carried him home, but when we got there he casually laid on his bed and said he was just gonna sleep it off. WHO DOES THAT
Know what I do when I'm in that mood? Whenever anyone talks to me I just hiss like a cat. They go away.
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
One three hour marathon fuck session and now she's divorcing her husband. Should I get business cards made?
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