so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
But i did once see a show where a women was homeless and installed a stove in a school bus so she and her baby could live there since all the seats were taken out. As far as being homeless goes it didn't look half bad...So this is me promising to you that if i ever am living in an abandoned school bus...i will at least pimp it out with a stove so you can come over for dinner sometimes
I had a bacon mcgriddle for the first time today. It was like eating a baby angel.
Just saw an ad for "Liver-aid" how has this not become a life changing drug for millions?
considering i was high when my dad made me pee in the cup i might fail this one
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
Attention ladies coming to the party tonight! Tonight will be another chance to win the 5 bucks for getting my cousin hard. Bring your a-game, no one has been able to overcome the whiskey dick yet. Good luck.
Florida has a way of just fucking with a person's soul and jizzing all over their hopes and dreams. Like existential bukkake.
So everything was good he was big spoon I was little spoon and then I got peed on
damnit. I just found my cousin on tinder.
He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.
Yeah. That's the shitty part. God, I don't want to be a step mom. Sure I'm great with kids, but I just want unlimited sex and not have to worry about making friends with a fucking 7 year old.
You walked up to a random girl on the street and asked her for a bite of her pizza...
Wait, like drink with real Phil. Or Phil, the cat that sometimes lived in your closet in Myrtle Beach?
You went on the date? His pickup line was I swear I'm not a serial killer and you went on the date???
Randomize
