I thought it was kinda weird that her ten yearold sister was playing bartender, but hey, the girl makes a damn good drink
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
I scrubbed the bathroom, smoked a bowl, and gave myself 3 orgasms. If the world ends today, I feel accomplished.
well, duh, but it's like you don't even want to see me masturbate with a wine bottle.
just found a someones bra in what seems to be a mix of pickle juice and vodka in my fridge. Who was over here lately?
My fridge broke, and apparently the back is missing. The repair guy just fixed it with a pizza box. I didn't ask where the box came from, but it wasn't mine. Reason #20 why rent is cheap.
I just conducted a skype meeting drunk and in the middle of a cornfield. I don't even think they noticed.
Have you SEEN his girlfriend?? Or talked to her? Christ almighty I'd drink every day just to die let alone black out
Cause a man that looks THAT good must have an ass that tastes like lucky charms
I ripped my favorite jeans crossing that fence
That sucks
It's an upgrade! I didn;t even have to unzip my pants to pee!
He told me that if he broke my bed my bed durring sex he would take me to ikea, but only on Monday because it's all you can eat meatballs. I think I'm in love.
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
Adderall went through the wash. Took it anyway. Wish me luck.
It's a Saturday night and I am in bed with two cats, a bottle of Riesling, and I'm masturbating to Iron Man. I'm great at being 21.
I was singing Colors of the Wind and swigging vodka and still felt like more of an adult.
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