respond to me or i'm telling everyone that you inserted a vodka soaked tampon into your anus
Do you know how easy it would be to shoplift if I was a magician?!
I woke up on a futon with 2 stolen budwiesers in my purse, 5 extra bucks, a sucker stuck to my shoe, one sock, and a stolen copy of the zombie survival guide
please tell me this is not legit
She's a freak. I've got the scars to prove it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I told him he was my first gentile. He was so flattered.
When I try to close my eyes ibwant to puke. Going to the basement to watch pocohantas. That'll keep myeyes open. And puke free.
he was banged his ex for coke the whole time and is still the best guy so far this year. standards need to be raised.
last nights episode of shot friends brought to you by polish vodka and flamingo baseball. pickles cure hangovers.
Bible prof is the guy I made out with at the gay bar on the fourth. He doesn't remember.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need a Xanax. A Veggie Delight. And exhibition style sex.
Most violent shit of my life. New Years resolution of eating better is already kicking me in the face.
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
Well, I watched a girl proposition a shit ton of people, try to take a cocktail waitresses job and then proceed to walk into a wall. Damn, I'm a little jealous.
My dad just accidentally taught me how to make fake IDs. I love my life.
Made it to the top o the stairs ALIVE YES FUCJ YOU GRAVITY
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