she said i have a nice penis, i told her only bob saget and god could judge that.
The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
i just sent this text using only my big toe
so I got guilt tripped into giving her a new years kiss, and she proceeded to try and eat my face while mounting me. when you give a mouse a cookie...
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
i have a wrist watched drawn on my wrist that it says shot o clock
Shit. We're going to have to drink until they're cute
Hello cirrhosis
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
Passed out mid cig in bed last night. Thank you cough for allowing me legal prescription hydrocodone.
I'm going to miss hockey season. It was the best excuse to get drunk on a Tuesday night.
I thought 5 times was beyond my capabilities but her tongue was like a penis defibrillator. Clear!
It was really strange. I feel like I had sex with a synchronized swimmer.
just because i'm not a monk anymore doesn't mean I need to tell you about my new sex life.
which is fantastic by the way.
He told you he loved you. Then you wanted to find a chainsaw to cut his dick off.
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
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