talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
I mean I'm basically single. Or maybe just an asshole. Either way.
My vagina just recognized that song.
And I'm supposed to be surprised that you got another concussion?
I drove 5 hours to see her. She thanked me by getting shitfaced, inviting her boyfriend over, and making me sleep on the couch after I cooked for them and did the dishes. You're right. I'm a fucking doormat.
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
High with mom again. She's giving me relationship advice.
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
Got a traffic ticket on the way home.. Literally cost me $171 to give him a blowjob. I swear the officer could smell the cum in my hair.
Did I tell you I bit someone's arm for you last night
It gave me the St Patrick's Day nickname Slutty McShitfaced. I've never felt so understood.
I'm trying to behave my vagina this week so I can at least pretend I'm honoring the sanctity of marriage
you went over there?
His drunk texts were grammatically perfect. At least our kids will be smart.
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
Grandma had me open the boxes that were delivered today. She got a sex swing, I've settled on "You go girl" as my official reaction.
Randomize
