I'm retiring my vagina. Better yet I'm Farve-ing it.
Def the best call fo sho
That way it can come out of retirement anytime and play for different teams. And it can wear Wranglers.
And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
He woke up screaming about pickles. I think it's gonna be a good day.
Screw it. I'll show up in a white dress with a sign that says " I fucked the groom and it wasn't that great."
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
I woke up and he used my makeup to write "hope you don't get pregnant" on my mirror before he left
That boy has a whole ocean of crazy lying just beneath the surface waiting to rise up, he's like the tar sands of crazy
Based on the grey fur I pulled from my teeth, I think her vagina has mice.
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
Good friends chat about sex - great friends ask about safe words.
Is talking to an iron man poster a good or bad indicator that you've been drinking too much?
Turns out, the guy I'm casually fucking has a girlfriend who's cheating on him with my sister's boyfriends brother who I fucked last year. And my sex life has now come full circle.
He just told me I was beautiful, whilst I peed into a cup. If this isn't love I don't know what is.
What you have to understand is that our lives aren't a disappointment so much as they crashed and burned with lethal doses of radiation and dog shit.
Randomize
