Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
I made my friend ***** cry when I wouldn't let her call u for an orgy at 3am...I didn't think you'd be to happy being woke up
Just gave my little brother the collection of clothes that boys have left in my room since I've been in college for his birthday.
Just had a drunken guest at my hotel threaten to "throw a fuckin fireball at my face"
I wish I had a frozen water bed.
best. idea. ever.
I think im gonna have to stop sexting on the metra. The middle aged businessman behind me just leaned over and whispered 'dirty girl' and highfived his seatmate.
I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
Change of plans I'm coming home and shotgunning all the beer we have.
The last thing I remember was doing a line in the shape of Texas
My day may involve a drug pinata. I LOVE MY LIFE.
I really hope your new roommate never finds out we had a threesome with a bisexual British guy in his room the night before he moved in.
You threw up on his face 22 hours ago and now he's here holding your hand. I think he likes you.
I feel like my foot is being amputated. Or maybe it's the vodka. I couldn't tell you.
When we got into his bed, his damn parrot started making sex noises in the other room
What's a really polite way of saying "you have gravely overestimated the value of your vagina?"
Randomize
