you were so high you spent the rest of the night smelling pepper to prove you can sneeze with your eyes open
i had just passed the point of no return when my mom opened my door. I hid my dick and took the porn off the computer in time but i still had to explain my day at school to her WHILE i was jizzing in my pants.
im keeping my plan b box as a souvenir of my first halloween weekend in college
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
1. my parents still have sex. 2. being a screamer runs in the family. 3. so much so that i can tell what number of orgasms she's on. 4.so looks like i'm stuck outside a while
she brought my homemade cookies with condoms taped to the box... im in love
He put crushed up bacon in the joint and now we're listening to the Matilda soundtrack I have no idea what's going on
We're gonna be late. Scott went too far predrinking amd tried pierce his own lip with a poptab. Save me a beer, i'm gonna need it.
he thought it would be funny to put his dick inside a beer bottle and wear it around. until we all realized how small his dick would have to be to fit in a beer bottle
I am about five seconds from ripping off my clothes and throwing myself into the ocean to become a mermaid
tell your brother to quit sending me his dick pics what am i going to do with them print them out and shove them up my ass???
We just finished having sex and as soon as we get out of bed he yells "trust fall" and runs me over
I told him he looked like my uncle.
Why would you say that in a bathtub?
I just want to say that I've always loved you and you are my best friend ever
You gave that creepy guy my number, didn't you? You really need to learn how to just say no, not interested.
I think I left my thong in your bed. Careful. It has the power to destroy the agitator on a washing machine
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