Three words: puerto rican gang bang
In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We really need to stop competing to see who can get more drunk, and I REALLY need to stop winning.
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
I ended up in a bathroom giving my hymen a pep talk
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
This popcorn tastes like salt and regret. It reminds me of the first blowjob I ever gave.
You've ruined popcorn for me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently I pulled that girl's number while I was trying to insist my drivers license had enough money on it to cover the tab.
I had a meltdown and you quoted Puddle of Mudd to me
Have you ever eaten pizza and gotten your dick sucked at the same time? Because I have pizza.
I just had to explain to my grandma what a reach-around is. Too far..
I wear drunk well.
Just flash them and yell "JUDGE THESE BITCHES"
Randomize