I can't disclose who, but one time I called someone, they didn't pick up, and immediately texted back 'will call later, masturbating'
I thought that was really considerate
No seriously, I have to sell the house because my wife found out I'm gay.
i just heard my neighbor say from outside my window "i don't give a shit what he does, what the hell am i gonna do with my son's penis?"
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
Just when I thought this night couldn't get any worse, my dad sang and dedicated Sexual Healing to me at kareoke night.
all but 2 of were put on probation for disorderly conduct. i know, visiting a hospital when your drunk is really stupid but it seemed like such a good idea at the time
swear to god, "it seemed like a good idea at the time" is gonna be on your epitaph
Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge.
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
So unless we're getting married, I can't see him cry AND have sex with him. It just doesn't work like that.
There is someone out there for you right now. And we will find her. Or him. Her. Her, we'll start with tits.
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
And now I have a massive dip in and a Bloody Mary that would catch on fire if you put a flame close to it, with no pants on... At 8:15Am. Being single is pretty legit
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
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