This isn't the rejection hotline, is it?
she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
She saved the condom from the first time we did it.
Two words Indian burn...
What did she think it was, a shake weight?
Did you really end last night's sexting with "Stay thirsty my friend"?
Omg he's telling my parents stories about him doing jaagerbombs ... Lord help me
I picked the lock on the bathroom door and sang him a song while he pooped. Why is he mad?
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
You're wrong. It's my BIRTHDAY. We all know it's impossible to get pregnant on my diva day!
If a clean cut ginger with a flannel and tattoos shows up at the apartment, he is allowed inside.
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
I have 2 voicemails from u last night. one of them is just 5 min of u saying "doodling"...
I mean we all knew i was gonna get arrested eventually but shoplifting is lame so dont tell anyone. Well just let them assume public nudity or something
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