He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
I'm pretty sure I just overheard my boss call his sperm precious metal...
so now that i'm sober i just want to apologize for violating your back seat...... on a brighter note thank you for playing the little mermaid song "kiss the girl," really set the mood.
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
There is soup leaking out of my nose nothing in life has prepared me for this moment
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
I may or have may not just taken a swig out of a jar of alfedo sauce in my fridge. Dont judge me
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
You called his parrot a seagull, a pigeon and a rat with wings, and told it to go eat Cheetos out of a dumpster.
i woke up inside a girl that i promised i would take on a date to Chili's
I think he fucked my hip out of place.
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