im on my way to getting "i just graduated college with no money, no job, and no plan" drunk
i guess you could say your face is two degrees of separation from my balls
Dude, 1 prime defect in the snuggie- you can't fuck someone discreetly under a snuggie. No way no how
my mom just called and warned me someone is trying to serve me, i feel like i'm playing an extreme game of hide and go seek these next weeks
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I left a cheeto on everyone's car trailing to the house i'm at, hanzel and gretel style.
I have a spoon shaped bruise on my ass...
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
Where the hell is he. I called him crying for weed and sex you would think that would signal some urgency.
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You kept saying you only wanted to drink until you were sleepy. You succeeded if "sleepy" means you sleepied around with 4/6 of the guys there.
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
she genuinely believed that kangaroos are a cross between a deer and a T-rex
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
He fingered me in a Waffle House bathroom and then stole a traffic cone. Is this love that I'm feeling?
Fuck my life he IS a stripper, Ive been sleeping with a stripper named Phoenix. damnit, I knew the sex was too good
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