i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
I'm not upset with you; I'm upset with Fox News.
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
dibs on John Mayer's hood pass
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
its sad that I know 23 beers will fit into my purse
We're stoned and watching little Einstein videos. Come. Over. Now.
I'm mentally preparing myself to hang out with him by staring into the mirror saying "thou shalt not get naked" over and over.
dude girls our age are getting married and having babies and I still can't figure out how to defrost my hotpockets
I’m almost positive this girl is drinking a mojito in class right now, if so she’s my new hero
I'm at my friends house alone, she's at spin class so I'm wearing her engagement ring and eating buffalo wings. It's 9:30am. Happy Valentine's Day.
You were on the train yelling, "THIS TRAIN NEEDS TO GO FASTER SO I CAN GO HAVE SEX WITH MY BOYFRIEND!!!"
I'm mainly pissed because I shaved fucking EVERYTHING for this. WITH SHAVING CREAM. Men do not appreciate how rarely that happens.
All time low: no dry towels so I'm using the sex towel to dry off
I just motorbotted some guy and my hair got stuck in his nipple ring...owww
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