drunk at some random house party. come get me. i thought i pulled my dick out to go piss... it was my left nut. im soaked.
loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
i just had sex bonerless
We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
All I remember is waking up with 3 penises pointed at my face. I also remember enjoying that a lot. And then I threw up in their shower.
They just built a gym in the same parking lot as my favorite bar. Drunk me is gonna be so excited.
Turns out the owner of the bar that I fucked used to be on Boy Meets World, but now he's old and bald. So there's that..
Nothing says happy valentines day like waking up to a naked man you hooked up with taking a walk of shame
Well I've made a drinking game out of the Wiggles but I think I've got this babysitting thing down
"I licked someones beard, because I can."
Please remind me tomorrow that I ate a loaf of jimmy johns bread on the toilet 5 mins ago
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
I don't know what kind of bucket list you have, but having sex with a tree isn't on mine...
Randomize
