just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
His facebook status is an owl city song. I'm so glad i didn't end up fucking him.
I only knew it was midnight because i got happy new years texts while i puked outside
Were making a bet for which twin will relapse while in rehab. I'm going for the chubbier one
It's like playing clue with my own life. I have to piece together what I did, where I was, how I did it, and who I did it to
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
4pm update. Theres smashed cake inside my duffel bag, a vodka bottle in the dish drainer, and the most productive thing ive done is make 40 pigs in a blanket
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
I feel like an elephant shit on me and left me to be miserable
not now. havin a heart to heart with drunk fred flinstone
Idk. It's not appealing to me. Like don't get me wrong, I love ur dick A LOT but I don't want to stare at it on an iPhone screen
Did you feel uncomfortable?
For a little while. Then I got really high and ate a bunch of animal crackers out of some dudes pocket while we chilled on their super comfortable couch.
I couldn't find a water bottle, so I sent her to school with her juice in a flask. Who the hell let me become a parent?
I brought an already opened bag of trail mix from home to snack on today. Some motherfucker ate all the m&ms out of it. I hate my roommates
Randomize
