she told me her fantasy was her as a 55 year old cook at a truck stop who smokes a pack a day, and I was the 21 year old illegal immigarnt prep cook.
at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
Tell me why Im cashing out of Walmart with Smirnoff and catfood
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
I had the spins so badly it was like I was having sex with 2 girls
I just dumped out my gym water bottle and filled it with white wine. This is the end.
Just woke up to find myself cooking eggs on the imaginary stove in my room.
If I die I have 2 requests one a viking funeral prye and 2 I want you to take over my facebook and haunt the fuck out of everyone
The fact that he just came out makes his Lent commitment to give up gay sex so much more meaningful now.
I feel like we should at least be hungover if we're gonna be this grown up.
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
Be quiet or buzz aldrin will come beat you up with science
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.
Finding my pants in the morning should not make me this proud
i'm growling thTa how much i wNn slwwwp.
save me some of whatever you're doing i'll be there in five.
Randomize
