My key broke off while I was turning the key. I can't pull the broken key out. Not only am i locked outside, so is the rest of the building.
Just left some random in my bed to go get mcdonalds breakfast. I'd say my priorities are on point.
you came downstairs saying you were now 'dressed to impress'
what was i wearing?
nothing
I SWALLOWED her nuva ring. Please tell me how your night could have been worse.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
all I heard when I woke up this morning was "BONG HITS FOR BREAKFAST" being yelled repeatedly.
you probably have like 11 voicemails from us, one is us singing my heart will go on while were fucking
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
You hit on my mom and then passed out in the kiddie pool.
I would rather deep fry my own cock while it's still attached to me than have his life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well anything after a French guy would have been a disappointment. But I'm fairly certain he was just trying to masturbate into me.
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
I feel like a Europe failure cause I'm coming home from the club at 3:30 and so many people are just arriving... Wtf? 3:30am People! Drink earlier!
It's a Tuesday.
I'm smoking a bowl in my bathtub. I'm meant to be alone.
I just masterbated to the home shopping channel...what have I become...
Two words: nipple clamps
Randomize