Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
"Tonight I'm turning swine flu into an std" this might be how zombies come about. Peace civilization.
mom came into my room and asked to borrow some condoms. We have gotten to the point where it's not awkward anymore.
who was wearing the fake mustache? I just found one in my cleavage
Why yes actually, getting stoned and reading an AARP magazine IS totally where I wanted my night to end!
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
Let's be honest, your relationships fail because the man you're looking for is the equivalent of an intellectual blow-up doll.
At least I look tastefully trashed. My nipples are hidden and I'm standing up.
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
Did I tell you I’m going on a date? His name is Michael and we both like dinosaurs and anal.
I got drunk and bought a house last night. Also, I threw up on Mike's lawn. I'm pretty excited about one of those two things.
Dude my cat is eating sugar cookies with me. No joke. My cat likes cookies.
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