She told me she only masterbates to Kenny Rogers songs.
OMG. What did u say?
I told her I did too.
how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
Just spiked the bong with a ludens cough drop with hopes it soothes my throat after i rip it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
His rebound girl is half his size, looks like a leprechaun, is majoring in theater studies and has arms like Rosie O'donnell. Do I win?
What's that word that means bigger and smaller and bigger and smaller, again?
Goddamn it, Jaime, it's 4am. Throbbing. The word is throbbing.
This must be what defeat feels like to Tom Brady today. I bet he wishes he could barf up all of his bad decisions from yesterday, too.
What are you wearing tonight?
The colors of the winddddddd
We hooked up for a while and on his way out he high fived me and said "stay weird"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
I hooked up with a guy that had a beard last night felt like I was building a fucken log cabin
So for St Paddys day I colored my junk green and got a little hat for him....wanna see it before I sober up....
You said too many real things and now I need to crawl back inside my protective fort of sarcasm, being an asshole, and sass
I can't dude. Last time I was there, I blew the bartender in the bathroom at last call.
Her blowjob technique? Picture someone attempting to drink a triple thick milkshake through a Capri Sun straw.
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