I'm a simple man, with a social life most psychopaths would cringe at
haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
She challenged me to a game of rock-paper-scissors for her virginity. I love this girl.
He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
I don't know where Tiffany is but I just saw her shoes in the bar lost and found
Leaving the phone at home last night was the best decision I ever made.... Though I still managed to text her and now I have 2 phones...
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
I will seriously deflate and melt into the floor into a puddle of devestation, shame and vodka.
I did too many shots and now a kitten is trying to eat my bagel.
He just sent me a picture of himself naked while cooking pancakes and he made the caption "bitchin' in the kitchen"
I honestly feel really bad for any girl with a period that lasts more than a day
Everything about that text makes me want to throttle you and cry
We got a lap dance! I touched a boob!
You chose shitty college football over this pussy and my cute little mouth. That's your fault.
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