Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing.
was that a mass text??
i almost hope i AM knocked up so i can ruin the rest of his life
I had to download the flashlight app so I could finish taking a dump when the power went out.
I can feel my liver begging me to stop.
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
Just realized my relationship wasn't even Facebook official and I'd already cheated on him. 'Shitty girlfriend' is an understatement.
oh my god. picked the worst day ever to not wear underwear...
I'm just gonna stop you right there because there is, in fact, no such thing.
My dad sent me a 10 ft beer bong and my mom sent me ideas for future careers. I'll let you guess who my favorite parent is. Also, come over tonight. and bring beers.
MY WHOLE FAMLY IS TALKING ABOUT MY BUTT
WAIT I'M COMING I WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT TOO
I feel like a bottle of fireball rented a bull dozer and ran me over until I was left without a shred of my dignity
Which one of you fucks put a bounty out on my brother's virginity?
WHY THE FUCK DID I HAVE TO FALL IN LOVE WITH A CONVICT
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
Yo I'm lookin at the cows. They're just fucking docile things
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
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