please quote me on this- the only thing worse than being ugly is being ugly and thinking that you're pretty
I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Getting too drunk for the hot dog vendor to serve me is possibly a sign of an alcohol problem. I threw up in the sewer grates next to his stand
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
We will have to go big on the 4th! Nothing says independence like the impending doom of an ankle monitor
i woke up and saw you were brushing his hair naked. I can never pass out around you, man.
I can't tell if I'm hungover or if my cat just knocked the lamp on my face
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
He ordered three small pizzas while I was giving him head.
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
So he has moved up to a stage 5 clinger...Surprised he didn't try to lure you into bed with tacos, like he did last time
Yeah... akward. I don't want a round 2
I just found a ladybug shell in my underwear. What was I doing last night?
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