She wont be able to take it all. I'll use a shoe horn to get it in if I have to.
So, your gf couldn't walk up the stairs without your help, but she could knit you a scarf?
I think the fact that the scarf was made out of dental floss should be taken into account.
I have a new game. It's called "how weird can you act before a guy won't fuck you". I've deducted most guys are willing even if you're batshit insane.
Valuable lesson learned: if you reach the point where you have to talk yourself in to finishing the last half of your beer, you shouldn't try.
oh god my hair smells like rotten vegetables, sweat, and tequila. I wanna party with your neighbors every night.
I couldn't sleep so I took 4 shots of vodka and promptly threw up in the sink. Happy Thursday
You gave your boss a bj to get the safe employee of the month award?
Did I really drink that whole bottle of Jack Daniels last night?
Heroically.
Too bad pet owners lack respect for my training in ancient Buddhist and holistic rehab therapies.
I'm not sure the Buddhist consider pot brownies holistic rehab therapy
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
Don't send me nudes asking me to come fuck you on lunch break then send me a video of kids you're babysitting.
sorry for pouring tequila vodka and whiskey down your throat and left you to sleep on a table
Either he pets my cat or this deal is null
If my life today were a movie the subtitle would be: Revenge of the Beer Shits
I just ordered a onesie on amazon in the back of the ambulance while my patient was sleeping. I'm an adult
Randomize
