it's my fault, I passed out instead of getting up to pee.
I miss seeing your mom and dad at church, well mostly just your mom... She used to hug my face into her boobs.
When I told my boss I'm using a vacation day for 4/20, he gave me his personal cell phone number and winked at me.
I wish orgasms lasted as long as the pain from rug burn
nothing like morning wood sex at 4pm. funemployment ftw
She washed lettuce and peppers in the shower and proceeded to make a salad
They usually take it with their boobs. It's like a horizontal motorboat
No more morning sex. Just for once, my vagina would like to go to work bone-dry and bone-free.
Just realized I used a picture of my little sister to holler at a guy, only 3 months old and she's already my wingman.
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
Every time I burp I plan an escape route because I'm scared I'm gonna puke on grandma
So the dog chewed my vibrator last night. It added a nice new texture actually.
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
I just masturbated at work... Don't know why but I thought you should know
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