i can totally tell he's high. he's having a conversation with my dog.
Midnight walks are trippy
I tried to do that earlier, but I was alone and scared, so I stole a happy Birthday balloon.
nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
She's like Mona Lisa when she's intoxicated. No one understands her but they all think she's marvelous
you need to not memorize your credit card number for drunk pizza
I'm bakin' bread in my pussy!
What?
I have a yeast infection.
Sandwiches are there for you when porn isn't.
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
OMGGG I JUST SAW A REAL OWL JUST CHILLING ON TOP OF A SIGN POST. I WALKED UP TO HIM AND SAID HOO HOOOOO AND HE TURNED HIS HEAD AT ME AND WAS LIKE YEAHHH BRO
First thing on my "to do" list- get sober for community service.
I dunno if you guys are having weird sex or a most accurate bird sound contest but either way stop doin it
Godammit I caught my hair on fire taking a bong rip
You can be responsible and still be on that ho life
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
Randomize
