I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
i'm really high, and this is sooooooooooo important. how many frosties does it take to fill a bathtub?
So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
He just kept yelling woof and then threw money all over me...
Idea for the cake. Joints for candles. Do it.
This guy randomly got in our taxi, and has now collapsed on the sofa anouncing that he's staying the night.
I woke up with a pinecone in my hair. A full pine cone.
dude, you declined head because you wanted to tell her about how you put cinnamon in your weed. also, we're low on Chef Boyardee
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
Almost just stuck my dick in my bong for no reason
wrestling a boy for fruit? sounds suspiciously like foreplay...
Why is "Oprah of drinks" written on my arms?
You said to write it on you, after you kept saying, "You get a drink, you get a drink, everyone gets a drink."
I'm starting to think that Cosmic Steve ripped me off
You got stoned and bought $300 worth of pudding. Again! Why do YOU think she left you?
What are best friends for?
Picking your clothes up from a one night stand you had nearly 2 months ago
Randomize
