she looks like luggage that fell from a plane
Im gonna name my vag after egypt, "the valley of kings"
every time I worry about a career mistake, I remember Michelle Pfeiffer did Grease 2.
I'm drunk. And at a vegan cafe. You would hate it. Don't tell my hipster friend but I kinda hate it too.
You are forgiven. I sent you a picture of a pumpkin man as a gesture of reconciliation.
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
Nothing is working I'm going to die alone and on hold with a State Farm representative
I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
She pinched my nipples out of nowhere as I was about to come... I think I found god
He's drinking on a hospital bracelet, the fuck's your excuse?
Unless he's under 18, in which case you put him back where you found him this instant.
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
I felt like I crashed a wedding. Everyone was dressed so nice and I was covered in actual dirt and a little blood.
If I die tonight, you and your brother can split my money evenly for college only.
all $38?
Randomize