i'm stoned. there's a jazz trio playing outside across the street...scared that mike myers will appear & start yelling 'woman...WHOA MAN. WHOOOA MAN.' i'm snapping my fingers.
epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
You leave a trail of fuck everywhere you go
You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
Do you ever wonder how many people have prayed for you to be a better person?
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
He's yummy.
HE'S GAY. AND 40.
Irrelevant.
I an in a belgian bar and i cant understand shit. Trying to talk to strangers. Getting drunk until we all speak the same language. Brace for updates.
That sad moment when even your drug dealer lands a summer internship and you don't...
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
I hope you get a lego stuck in your dickhole
Did you ask Harvard boi?
Apparently he likes someone who is into being smart and a supporter of human rights ugh what a skank
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