Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
He said he had to make up a lie of why he couldnt sleep with her. It must really suck to have a sunburned dick.
Bad news. I lost my teeth. Good news. I can still take a guy home sans teeth.
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
But Alex is drunk in Philly and I told him to come see me so that's "first-love,-drunk,-high,-and-it's-a-snow-day-hook-up-with-an-ex" points. 69
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
Why can't I hire someone to teach me how to be a decent human being?
She's a freaking stalker dude, it's like having some kind of cartoon animal just following around everywhere
A few days ago I apparently came up, asked her to make me soup, and handed her a can of coconut milk.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
why does CNN give a flying $@*# about the royal baby so, so much?
i hope they name him Joffrey
Side note, from now on any snap chat I get that isn't interesting enough... Is getting a dick in response. Judge your snaps accordingly
So apparently I was a completely different person lastnight, one who drinks scotch and makes out with 55 year old men who look like inspector gadget
I ate mushroom chocolates & went to the botanical gardens for Christmas. HAPPY FUCKING HOLIDAYS
She asked what the dent on the hood of my car was from..i think she knows we had sex up there
Randomize