my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
He just asked me to come into his empty apartment after he called his parents to make sure they wouldn't come home while I was there. This is starting to look like a bad rape scene from one of those made-for-TV Lifetime movies.
theres bread in your mailbox im going to eat it
nevermind its newpaper
OMG HAIR ON HIS DICK. HAIR ON HIS DICK AS IN GROWING OUT OF HIS DICK. HAIR.
All that matters is I got the megaphone home safely
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
I usually just read books and meditate to an aquatic soundtrack of sea walrus's mating. But ill choose coors light instead
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
Well he walked in last night, yelled at me for not playing any music and started dancing.
The first guy I ever sexted is having a baby.. Is this what adulthood feels like?
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
I AM A GOOD PERSON AND THEREFORE I DESERVE QUALITY DICK!
I was walking out of the bar when he said I'll see you later and I said I'll see you in my dreams and then fell face first and broke my nose
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