Alarm just got pulled in my exam
Swear it wasn't me
No awkward lesbian experiences without me
im watching my roommate bang this girl. she doesn't look like she's any good, because he has a bored look on his face...
I hate seeing commercials about babies when i'm high
Yeah, I don't like babies at all
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I want to leave work and go home and eat Five Guys and masturbate
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
reason #14 for loving my boobs...just got out of a 40mph over the limit speeding ticket thru a work zone. i dont think the cop knew i even had a face
My dinner was lean cuisine and tequila. Aaaaaand I need a boyfriend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like i got beat with a pillowcase full of tequila shots.
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
Just promise me we won't die tonight. I can't have an autopsy report that reads "stomach contents: Tequila and semen."
Can I just put my face in your boobs and forget the world?
YOUR BALLS CAME OUT. DONT CALL ME A SHITSHOW.
He said that I started crying after sex because he was leaving to go back to Europe after the semester was over and I wouldn't see his dick anymore. This is why I need to stop hooking up with the exchange students.
Randomize