Seriously? Do you have me saved in your phone as 'check every 3 months to see if she's single yet'?
Max was wondering if he could trade you sex for the use of your jumper cables
He just did blow off my nipples. He's not serious about his girlfriend.
I think my penis ruined a perfectly good friendship.
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
I'm at the point in my life where I'm trying to get guys I've fucked to give a ride to guys I'm going to fuck.
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
Oh dude, thanks for giving me that liquor last night, except replace 'giving' with 'violently forcing'.
That's exactly how my pussy feels when I shave it. Like a cross between a naked mole rat and a newborn child. Embrace it.
No. I'm too high for this. I gotta focus my mind for my future Hooter's interview
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
I give you full permission to fuck a rando on my air mattress.
Why is there ANOTHER stolen fire extinguisher in my room? You know that's a felony right...
I'm owning this being a social human being thing tonight!
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
Randomize
