Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
So after we got done with our cardiac arrest patient, I thought how awesome would it be to hook up the defibrillator pads to cook a burrito.
dude... how have they not drug tested you yet?
His hands were made for my vagina.
Her legal name is Candy. Her being a whore is implied.
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
I just called my mom 'Napoleon bronaparte'. I need to stop hanging out with you.
I'm soaked in beer, and I think blood. Why did we think we could tap a keg with a hammer?
Sorry, I was watching the Olympic story about the Canadian guy and drinking out of the prescription bottle and crying because it was so beautiful.
Just don't let me get too drunk. At one point I pulled out my dick and pissed at that party. Like on the wall.
Isis wins if we don't have the loudest, kinkiest sex in every part of my house tomorrow
ayo
its like you know when i get waxed
I LACK THE NECESSARY BRAIN FUNCTIONS TO BE ABLE TO PROPERLY RESPOND TO THAT
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