You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
This is your typical "sorry i got drunk and tried to seduce you into having sex while you were throwing up" text.
well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
Why does my right nut always hang lower than my left nut?
Either allow it in a formal toast or i will drunkenly tell your in-laws while i'm dancing on their table. either way, the truth is coming out
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
and after i failed the breathalyzer i said to the cop "i've never been very good at tests"....
he spent an hour trying to convince us that Ted Nugent is Kid Rock from the future. by the end of it i was very close to believing him.
Im dating a 38 year old who's lap I can fit in. Tell me I don't have daddy issues.
Just promise me you wont die... or hook up with an old asian lady playing slots
Cant promise that last part. I won't die though
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
Wrapped in a blanket, just ate a whole party pizza. All my dreams are coming true and you don't even care.
Well, let's just say, I got that eye patch like we were joking about
Hey, I left a taco in your dishwasher.
Throwing up in a storm drain... Not my finest moment.
But my shoes looked boss
Randomize
