So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
It's like God shit irony all over that family
We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
I'm wearing red that night.
Noted, what shade?
Whore.
i'm gonna fuck his crew, i'm gonna wax my asshole. i'm gonna make them all cry tears of sex joy then move to colorado.
I fucking love your mom. She's so drunk and fully functional. I aspire to be her one day.
then looked at this little girl next to me and was like "don't drink when you get older and don't let your best friend be with assholes." she looked at me like i was crazy
I feel like my body was put in a dryer with rocks set on permanent press.
How hard is it to grasp the concept of 'I lost an impromptu saber bout and so I have to make a macaroni map of Soviet Russi, including Kazicstan'!?
Just walked out of the train bathroom after having sex and got a round of applause from the passengers. Definitely the best part of the trip.
Is it bad that if I found out I couldn't have kids I'd be more pissed that I've been using unnecessary condoms than the fact that I'll never be a mother?
Do you think it would be okay if i cleaned my cartilage piercing with the leftover vodka?
You ate my ass why wouldn't I remember you
Randomize
