My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
Dude, she uses Old Spice. It smelled like I was eating out my grandfather.
This can't be good. I've realized that I weigh less in the morning after I have had a blackout drunk night than when I work out and eat healthy.
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
Just got a blowjob on the pier where my great-grandfather entered America.
We should invent fake asshair for you to wear so you can experience my pain for a day.
I just had sex in the footy bunny pajamas my mom bought me for christmas. Tis the season
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
Can I just fuck someone without it basically becoming an arranged marriage
It's not even noon and I've had 3 people call me a savage, one of them said it in reference to the blow job I gave them. So I guess you could say it's going to be a good weekend
Have you ever seen death before? Bc it's me right now in yesterday's clothes.
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
We've been together for 10 months. These next 2 may be a deal breaker. He has not met the summertime version of me that is so hungover today that I cancelled a meeting with my boss right after she sent me an appreciation note saying I have great work ethic. I have her fooled.
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