Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
Mars, I'm going to name my child horatio mars. He will hate me till he gets high. Then he'll understand
Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
i crunched every chip from the dorito bag and poured it in the vase. never again will i have to deal with cool ranch fingers.
I was totally going to sleep with him, until he got naked and started swinging around his boner singing "I'm so hard. oh yeah yeah yeah, I'm so hard" like Rihanna.
Nuts. Absolutely nuts. she just screamed in my face something about not knowing whats happening and then got tackled by a dude
I feel like our relationship should have moved on from you constantly asking if I'm gay
When you finally get laid, I shall make you a trophy out of dildos
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
Then he said,"I love you like a sister I like to have sex with."
went to class still drunk this morning and my professor made the class give me a round of applause and said, "see people, THIS is inspirational... if she can make it to class in this condition there is no excuse not to show up!"
Guy from the bar last night left his number on my waterbill on the counter, at the bottom he put don't forget I can hook you up at Little Caesars I work their part time.
You sure know how to pick em.
Feels weird riding an elevator with my tongue in my own mouth.
i wish i could put you in a lil box, and keep you for when i need to be blown
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