bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
He gave me an orgasm with his left hand...and he's right handed. Of course he's a keeper.
Guy passed out in the lobby with a keychain sharpie hanging from his belt loop. 1 guest came in and wrote on him, then others saw and got in line. I'm not waking him up.
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
theres a turtle on the table. helping me eat my ramon noodles.
In all seriousness...vodka, almond milk and chocolate syrup make a decent white russian.
Last I saw him was around 10 this morning. He was passed out on the porch with his head under the barbeque cover and there were cups of orange juice around him as well as loose tobacco spread everywhere. Good luck getting a hold of him.
Taco Bell drive through. Chick got out of the car in front of us and threw up on the hood of my car!
Not okay.
There is no try. Just do it. Yoda said that. Or Nike. I can't remember. whiskey
omg i just made best friends with a deer. Im like the drunk santa clause.
If I never see my landlord's dick again, it'll be too soon.
Hey, I'm off work. Wanna take a metric fuckton of adderall, possibly get daydrunk, and get my hair cut?
The multiple male orgasm is a real thing. I've seen it. I've caused it. I called him a unicorn.
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
Randomize
