I got raped by $2 you call it's. I'm still hammered. And mentoring high school kids. My life is a joke.
I just told my doc I would like to talk about my drinking problem, but that it would probably get in the way of my weekend plans.
She's got an ass you could write the declaration of independence on in one line. Takes up three bar stools.
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm at a party where swedish girls are dumping laundry detergent on each other because it glows in blacklight. this is awesome
you went through ur friends list and posted an obscene comment on every ultrasound pic...."not his" "looks like a sea monkey"
She sucked her thumb until she was 17. It's like my dick was born to be in her mouth.
Dude if our hands were ladels we could work at a soup kitchen
That would be so convenient
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We stared down the barrel of pure insanity, took more and the electric elephant god rewarded our fearlessness by giving me golden skulls and naked women crawling out of the walls. I love acid
SIMBAAAA REMEBER WHO YOU ARE
You had the nerve to crowd surf to your own bedroom.. I guess watching Aladdin high was probably the best idea ever
I am going to tweet NASA until they put me into space
Those rocketship riding assholes need the common man
I'm officially no longer allowed to make any of my own decisions regarding alcohol, men, or the combination of both. Thats up to you now. Do me proud.
I convinced her that there were two p's in Chipotle - the 2nd one was silent.
Randomize