who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
I caught myself masturbating while watching a baseball game today. It was over before I realized what was going on. And then I was just confused.
no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
I just don't want to have to pretend at every family function she brings him to that he didn't hit on me first
I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
I don't think he realizes it but he was stroking the faucet while he was talking to me.
Fell down the metal stairs and some guy tried to fight me after you left. I fell asleep with cadbury eggs in my mouth too.
Well, now that you have a gf, its gonna be awkward when I get drunk and make out with you..... Then later, pretend like I don't remember.
He told me to come in and have some water before I drove home, my vagina didn't stand a chance escaping. We didn't even make it to the kitchen.
My parents woke me up at noon to tell me my maid had found my clothes strewn all over the neighborhood
He's the only guy without a tacky accent I've seen in this southern dump in 6 months. Bangage was inevitable.
You're such a Yankee.
My grandpa is driving me to get condoms and wine. This is adulthood.
Leave it to me to pull up my boyfriend’s grandfather’s obituary just to find out the name of his sister.
Randomize
