Stars make me really horny. Especially that shiny one its just staring at me.
the lady at Walgreens winked at me when i asked where the cherry chapstick was... damn u katy perry!
I hope whoever gets these locks of love doesn't have a drug test anytime soon
just threw all of the fireworks into the bonfire. thats why there are firetrucks.
we talked for like an hour, i feel like we really bonded. i mean i was simultaneously giving him head but you get the point.
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
I'm sneaking you alcohol into a hospital. This either says love or "we have a problem"
Well the police had to intervene and I couldn't exactly feel my legs by the end of the night, but I'd say it was a successful Friday night.
we should probably just go check in at the police station right now
Your dad just texted me? He said I needed to holler at him when I get up tomorrow. I honestly thought you had somehow gone to jail.
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
Dropping acid was like seeing the whole world as a blank canvas to imagine anything I wanted.
And apparently all you wanted was to watch the sun explode and me take 60,000 dicks to the face.
I tried to walk home in my heels. And I fell into a snow bank. And then I cried and a policeman came up to me and said I can't sit in a snowbank and got me a cab. So maybe that's where I left my credit card. I remember the cop asking me if I was old enough to drink, too. OMG. How embarrassing. Pretty sure I told him to "leave me alone."
We had sex on the bear rug. He said "you, me and the bear. This is bear-idise"
Coffee's working. Just killed a fly with my bare hands.\nFuck with me.
Randomize
