saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
imagine if the morning after your status automatically updated with the name of the person you hooked up with
Thru out the entire phone conversation I went from thinking: he's making a gay come-on, to he's trying to sell me drugs, before realizing he was offering me a job with an internet company. Things are gonna be awkward in class this week.
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
literally. a puddle of blood. on the floor. still searching for the source
Ummm I just broke my no puke streak at church
She made me be the little spoon then she pretended to be a jet pack for an hour straight
I tried to lock you in the bathroom stall because you were too drunk. But you escaped from underneath, I gave up
What kind of scumbag goes to a baby's 1st birthday party with a black eye? This kind. Me. I'm disgraceful.
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
this temple that is my body is starting to crumble and turn into ruins
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
Are you playing pokemon in the dark and sexting? I can't be mad at that.
my friends roomated asked me this morning if we went to mcdonalds last night and i had no idea...that is until i checked my purse and found half a mcdouble in it...
Randomize
