I'm too stoned for this. I'm Canadian.
So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
hah yeah. there was a kid puking in the bathroom and this idiot brings in a potted plant and was like "yeah he's like, not getting enough oxygen"
after I pulled back my foreskin she said, "cool like a transformer". I really like her now.
its like she was born with a silver dick in her mouth
Apparently she buried shit in the snow back in January and now that it's melted I found a flip flop, 4 spoons, a bottle of smirnoff, and 14 different candy bars
it's not like i was drunk to the point of NEEDING help...i just wanted someone to offer to hold my hair or something.
Oh my god. He likes it up the butt. But loves womanly support. Omg. Its bad. Its bad. Ive had too much whiskey for this to be ANYthing except bad.
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
I say go for the trifecta and maybe you'll get a medal or something. Or a baby. That's like the same thing right?
I can't drink with the moms anymore. All they talk about is lactating.
In other news I have discovered that grindr is the easiest way to get free meals
We watched Jurassic Park and they made me drink every time they saw or named a dinosaur. Do you know how many dinosaurs live in Jurassic Park? Lots.
So he noticed that I cut a half inch off of my hair. Guess who just earned himself some road head on the way to the twin cities?
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
Randomize
