hey call me
can't. in the shower.
... and this is probably why your phone does not work half the time.
Oh shit, I think we need to get you a hobby that doesn't include penises
So My parents cut me off after I started making blood marys with hienz ketchup
If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
It's a pity Stephen Hawking can't do sarcasm.
She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
He tried to say the picture wasn't him. Like I'd forget his curved boner.
Her stripper name is Geico. I'm not drunk or creative enough to make this up.
You know you drank too much last night when your mouthwash tastes like water
Vodka?
Forever.
you regret 100% of the tequila shots you do take. thats what gretzky meant to say
You should be glad you didn't come with last night. I watched pirate porn for the first time in my life as the 9th wheel.
He just sent me the contact information about getting the Zebra for graduation...
At least they play good movies in the waiting room of the pregnancy resource center.
I accidentally sent my mom a nude picture of my ass... she replied with how did you get that angle ?
Randomize
