He is like the real live version of the state fair..
i just learned how to squirt via google. life is good.
this is a time for prayers...seriously
let us hold hands and pray.. sweet baby jesus please bring us some sweet sweet man loving this homecoming weekend to aid our lonely vaginas it has been a long couple of weeks amen.
I tried giving you a bj last night and all you could manage was "Haha that tickles" and "in the morning"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nothing like puking into an empty cooler at a red light on the way to get plan b.
You mAke me stone. Stone fuck fucking stoned. I'm an stoned you cuz now fucking stoned stoned fucking stoned I stone.
Me and allie were just offered cocaine by a strange man in a women's bathroom. Why have I not lived in Austin my whole life?
Just to update you. I am dead. So your probably gonna have to find a new roommate
fuck it. from now on whatever room i wake up in, i'm stealing clothes from. this walk of shame shit is too much without pants
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were naked with a chalice of Skittles vodka, singing along to Les Miserables.
if you guys find pieces of my teeth don't throw them out please
not sure what stings more, my ass or my pride...
Don't get mad but There's blood everywhere and the only thing I remember is the bj from your cousin.
You still owe me one bodily function mess clean up.
You pee on the floor one time and you never hear the end of it...
I just realized that this is the first time I've ever seen your mom without sucking your cock.
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